Lost but not forgotten (4 June 2017)

On the TV last night I finally heard Ariana Grande sing; and it seemed the audience, predominantly young women, knew all the words. I confess – I had not heard of her; at least, until her Manchester Arena concert was bombed by a suicidal terrorist, with the loss of 22 lives – including children – and many injured, some seriously. Ariana was the central focus of a defiant, emotional new concert, a celebration of anger, sadness and, incredibly – a kind of joy.

It was made more poignant here in London because, just the night before, we were, again, attacked by terrorists; a van mowed down people on London Bridge, then three men randomly stabbed mostly young people enjoying a night out in the bars and restaurants of the Borough market neighbourhood. So far, seven are dead; many are injured, some seriously. And then my memories, much more personal, of the 7/7 London bombings.

What will follow is yet to be seen; who knows now where we go? What is and was incredible was the bravery and kindness of both police and health workers, but also women and men caught up in it all, helping strangers.

So what can coaching offer, if anything, in such circumstances? I pondered this; and the most important thing coaching does bring, as I have discovered, is someone to listen – someone who doesn’t criticise or judge, but listens, and assists to find the right path by asking the client the right questions. This can mean a lot, especially when life seems worthless.

I also thought of one coaching tool, which can be used; it is below. It is for those who have lost someone they loved very much; a partner, child, parent, friend. It is a way to start living again, by learning to value the things that are left. It is about moving on, finding a practical way to continue.

It is not about forgetting, though; some people will never be forgotten. Keep a place, inside you or somewhere else, for those you have lost. But they, too, would want you to go on living.

All the best

Graham

Before your loss, what you most valued:

Hobby Leisure
Family
Health
Relationship
Friends
Career
Finances
Contribution

Moving on – value what remains:

obby
Leisure
Family
Health

Friends
Career
Finances
Contribution

 

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